FOREVER DISTURBED...

So Kissass had to stay home from school today from a slight fever and stomach ache. I told the secretary at the school I didn't want her puking all over her class which is why I decided to keep her home. Luckily I didn't make her go because about 10 minutes later, she vomited all over the toilet. And yes, she made it IN the toilet, but of course, the idea of putting her face near the same spot she puts her ass made her keep a good distance away from it which resulted in splashes on the tile below. I rubbed her back and pulled her hair back while she finished getting the crap out of her belly. For a very brief moment I was flashing forward in my head thinking "I wonder if this is what it will be like the first time I catch her ass drinking. Will I get mad at her or will I hold her hair back like I am doing right now and tell her that's what she gets and maybe next time she will say NO!" Then I realized she's only 7 and snapped back into the moment.

Luckily she got all the yucky stuff out of her system and she is able to lay on the couch without me being afraid that she will puke on the carpet. I love her to death but I HATE that the smell of vomit lingers into the smallest freaking fibers and never goes away! Eventhough it happened about 5 years ago, if you sit in my car and concentrate, you can smell the hint of the interesting combination of Simple Green, vomit and spaghetti... MMMMmmMMM!!!!!!

So the vomit-free 7 yr old, Badass and I have been sitting around watching the Sprout and HUB channels all morning. I swear they have the STUPIDEST freaking inventions nowadays. And if Stupidest isn't in the Websters Dictionary, you can go suck it because it's in my vocabulary and not going anywhere!

Has anyone seen the commercial for FOREVER LAZY???

https://www.orderforeverlazy.com/?tag=im|sm|go|tm&a_aid=011&a_bid=534434b0


If you haven't, it's basically a giant fleece onesie for adults with footies, a hoodie and complete with a built in back zipper for your ass!!! I have enough trouble believing a grown man would sit around in his living room in a camoflauge Snuggie watching the SuperBowl with his buddies but to show a group of adults tailgating in onesies at a stadium!? I CALL BULLSHIT!!!! If your going to do THAT, you may as well take the extra step, take it to the swap meet and have them airbrush "I'M A FUCKEN IDIOT FOR SPENDING MONEY ON THIS STUPID ONESIE!" Not only will you be stylish matching your onesie with your team colors but you and your friends can be one step cooler than the Teletubbies because you got O.G. airbrush on your shit!!!

Anyway, Badass has to take a nap and I have take Kissass and her Disney Princess snuggie up to bed so she can nap too and feel all better. While they sleep I will be able to FINALLY figure out the size chart and find out what size Pajama Jeans I will be able to fit into so that I can wear them while I do my Shakey Weights, go for a run then come home for a nap! If I order now, I can get a second pair for free!!! I'm not selfish so if you get a hold of me, I will pay the shipping and handling and have them send the second pair to you!!!
OMG I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!