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YES YES YES, i know it's been way too long since i've been on here bitching and complaining about all the insanity the kids drive me to but I promise you I wouldn't of been gone if I didn't have a very good reason...
The kids drove me to the state of Insanity and literally threw me the fuck out the car without stopping!!! Mind you the Teen was driving so HELL NO she wasn't going to stop!!! Is it horrible that I can't wait til' she turns 18 so I can call her a bitch and not look like a shitty mom?
WHATEVER DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!!!!!!
Okay so i'm going to take baby steps... I've had a whirlwind of shit to share but I don't even know where to begin... so, i'm going to begin at the most recent...
Loreli and Rory Gilmore we are NOT.....
Me: "HEY, SO, UH, WHEN DO YOU START SCHOOL?"
Teen: "THE 22ND, I SWEAR I TOLD YOU"...
uh.. no she didn't...
Me: "UH, NO YOU DIDN'T. WHATEVER, HAVE YOU PAID FOR YOUR CLASSES OR DO YOU AT LEAST KNOW WHAT THE AMOUNT IS THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY?"
(Mind you, MONTHS ago, she had mentioned it would be like $800 not including books per semester. SINCE then, me and the husband have been telling her to save her money and stop spending it like nothing so she can help pay for school... She would roll her eyes and pretty much "whatevered" us... Same general reaction when we told her all senior year about applying for scholarships, which, incidentally- she never did)
Here I am waiting to hear something in the $700 dollar range more or less and she busts out with...
Teen: "I HAVEN'T PAID BECAUSE I'M STILL WAITING FOR FINANCIAL AID TO COME THROUGH TO MY ACCOUNT NEXT MONTH AND THEN I'LL KNOW FOR SURE BUT FOR NOW, IT'S LIKE FOUR THOUSAND SOMETHING..." and continues texting her friend not lifting her head as if it's no big deal....
Fighting EVERY fucking urge in my body to walk across the room, snatch her phone and shatter it against the wall I calmly say
Me: "FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!??? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO EIGHT HUNDERED???!!!"
Still not picking up her head she says in a matter-of-fact voice....
Teen: "I SAID IT WOULD BE $800 FOR BOOKS".......
I walk over, smack the phone out of her hand and shake the SHIT out of her as if she was some sort of human piggy bank and $4000 was going to fall out of her ass!!!!!!!!!
OKAY OKAY PUT THE DAMN PHONE DOWN AND STOP TRYING TO CALL CPS- I totally didn't but I TOTALLY WANTED TO!!!!!!! Instead I told her that I guess texting is more important than talking about this school shit with me and walked away hyperventilating and not knowing if it was because she must be borderline retarded or because I'm trying to figure out how many fucken John's i'm going to have to whore myself to in order to put ALL 4 of my kids through school!!!!!!!!
As it turned out, I contacted one of MY friends and got an estimate on how much HER son was going to pay this semester at the same fucken school and she said roughly $1000!!! ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!!!!! Uh... let's do the math here.... roughly $1000 sounds an aweful close to the $800 she originally told us instead of the $4500 she was going to just bow down and fucken pay to the damn school!!!!!!!!!!! Turns out these fuckers had her down as having to pay out of state tuition and registration... MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!
Whatever... In the meantime, I'm going to be nursing a teenage caused migraine at a 2 hour cheerleading practice for 2 of my girls while trying to chase after my 3 year old Badass in a football field that I HOPE we don't get monsooned on........ I will be the one rocking back and fourth hugging myself rockin' a brand new hair-do!!!!!
